Snakes on a mothafuckin' plane

Being a hipster doofus, I had to go see Snakes on a Plane, right? So we did. And it sucked. I was totally on board for a good horror movie with lots of “boos” and vipers jumping out of the overhead cabins, but they just didn’t pull it off well. It began with way too much setup and suddenly jumped into a ton of snakes crawling up women’s dresses and biting eyeballs. No suspense. Bad pacing. A tacked on scene of Samuel Jackson channeling his Pulp Fiction character. And of course, the Chihuahua gets it. You knew he would.

I blame Cosmo.