One of the benefits of starving yourself on the Jenny Craig plan is that food tastes so good because you're so damn hungry. One of my colleagues brought me a cup of microwave kettle corn and by god it was like some sort of mysterious ambrosia. The Jenny Craig meals are generally pretty good, but after a few weeks of 100-calorie "Anytime Bars" and canned "Florentine Tortellini," you're pretty grateful for something different.

I went crawling back to Jenny at the beginning of this month after realizing that I'd gained 20 pounds in a year and my doctor actually suggested I might want to rein it in a bit. That, my friends, is a humbling experience.

I would find myself walking to work holding down my top because I hadn't realized how much-too-small it was. As I walked it would ride up over my expanding midriff, exposing far more than a 38-year-old professional should display to her colleagues and impressionable freshman college students. Other times I'd rush home to change into sweatpants because my undies were cutting off circulation to my legs.

Good times.

It's been three weeks and I'm down eight pounds. I'm now entertaining fantasies of beginning 2008 at my 2003 historic low.

Sparkle and Shine

Howard Stern played this little gem by the Hoff today, and I felt that I had to share. I think CharleyBrand's commentary really helps.

Poor kitties

Yesterday Buckethead and Bootyquake went to the vet for their first teeth cleaning, since their breath generally smells like decaying flesh. They had their "comprehensive senior blood panel" done on Saturday and everything came out normal, so they got the blue light to go ahead and get sedated for booster shots, a little feline oral hygiene, and an x-ray for Booty, who's be limping lately.

We first noticed Booty favoring her front left paw about a month ago, and it still doesn't seem to be improving, even though she's been taking a course of steroids. The first trip to the vet was quite unsatisfying, since our doctor couldn't see anything wrong, even though we see a clear shriveling of her paw pads on that foot and a stiffness in her toes. She was declawed before we got her, so we thought it might have something to do with that. Since the vet's technicians are afraid of her wrath, we took the opportunity to get her an x-ray while she was sedated, and of course it showed nothing. Both vets that have examined her wanted nothing to do with our annoying-hypochondriac-pet-owner concerns.

They did find two teeth on Booty around which the gums had receded so much that the doctor could insert a probe directly into the root, so I gave them the go ahead to extract them. Fortunately for our credit card, Buckethead is the picture of health, down to the dental work.

When they returned home the girls were a little wobby at first, staggering around the living room. Booty's eyes were very dilated and I kept thinking of Towlie from South Park. She looked like she had the bed spins. But after a special treat of soft cat food and a nice rest, they were back to normal.