I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

As you may have read in previous blog posts, one of our cats is fond of crapping outside her litter box. Every morning I'm greeted with another pile, and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to convince her to "think inside the box."

The other day we were watching TV and I got up to go to the kitchen. Cosmo asked me to check the bathroom because he had heard the cat rustling around in there. Sure enough, there was a turdtastic little pile for me.

As I bent over to pick them up with a wad of toilet paper, I noticed that they were kind of shiny. I figured they were very fresh. As I picked them up, I realized that I had was the victim of a cruel practical joke by my darling boyfriend. They were chocolate-covered pistachio nuts from Trader Joe's.

Hook, line, and sinker.


j.e. said...

Our poor older kitty (15 years) is missing the box (he's blind now). We put down "puppy pads" around the box.

George Spiggott said...

Your kitty demonstrates real craptitude for stinking outside the box, with consistency. Of course, consistency's probably the wrong word to use when referencing things scatalogical. I found your post both witty and enlightening. Much more so than my comment. I was especially fond of "turdtastic." May I use it?

But then I read all the way to the end of your post, and the fear gripped me: If the pistachio nuts were in the litter box, what was in the candied pistachios I picked up at TJ's? It certainly tasted like crap...oh, no. Please tell me that your husband doesn't work at Trader Joes or that your cat is worm free.

Jennifer said...

Perhaps I was unclear. The punchline is that Cosmo tricked me with the pistachio nuts, which look remarkably like cat turds. Turdtastic turds in fact. Feel free to use the word.

George Spiggott said...

Thanks for use of the word. And you weren't unclear. My little joke, which was unclear, was based on the fear that Cosmo may be a Trader Joe's employee who also tricked shoppers by replacing the pistachio nuts with cat turds. Because the bag of pistachio nuts I purchased there once tasted a bit fecal...not that I would know, mind you.